insults and comebacks

Please share this page if you like them. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes It should be, you sap. Contact us for information about the Comeback API Punching or physically assaulting someone is a crime, you will end up in prison with a bad record, however, insulting without using any curse word is not a crime. The best comeback is not through violence, it is to outsmart your opponent by insulting them intelligently with none swearing replies, also known as a punchline. 56. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the ‘impression’ that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. 73. You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. I couldn’t warm to you if you were on fire. Yeah? I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! You will be shocked at how easy you will put them in their rightful places while you enjoy being in your place. You’re so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. Ready to tell some witty comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks? If you were any more of a dick, gay guys would be trying to suck your forehead. If you didn’t have feet you wouldn’t wear shoes…..then why do you wear a bra??! Or did your neck just throw up? You bring everyone so much joy! In your case they’re nothing. Comebacks And Insults Funny Insults Funny Comebacks Awesome Comebacks Savage Comebacks Clever Comebacks Roasts Comebacks Comebacks For Bullies Really Good Comebacks Some girl called me fat and said I was an elephant in a circus. You’re so dumb no one believes you’re my brother. You’re not as bad as people say. 30 Of The Funniest Disney Insults And Comebacks . I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative. I love what you’ve done with your hair. You’re so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! You owe it an apology. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. how long did it take you to come up with that "burn"? Then you've landed in the right place! Which way did you come in? Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. / Best Insults, Comebacks, Put-Downs. Sandwiches aren’t only for eating and throwing at each other. 1. 51. Am I getting smart with you? They’re also for making good comebacks you can use in an argument. I need you………..I want you…………To get out of my face. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs. It’s kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence. I thought of you all day today. You’re so fat your shadow casts a shadow. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. You’re not exactly bad looking. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? Below is a gallery of responses, retorts, and comebacks that are so witty that they’ve outlived the person who delivered them – enjoy this collection of history’s best insults: Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I’ve wanted to cut it down. Armed with barbs targeting everything from looks to age to Intelligence, you'll always be prepared with an appropriate-or completely inappropriate-putdown or comeback. 58. These insults are usually family friendly so you might've missed them but don't worry, we've collected the best of them in one place, creating sort of a Disney vocabulary you can use in nearly any situation. The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control! Did someone leave your cage open? Then feel free to watch the funny video below or check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. I fart in your general direction. Top Rated Comebacks to Insults Insults aren't always funny, that's why you'll need some comebacks. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! Is your name Maple Syrup? If you don’t like me, acquire some taste. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot. 20. See more ideas about funny insults, comebacks and insults, funny comebacks. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. yes you!! You have the face of a saint. Once you shared this page, please vote for your favorite comeback below because your opinion matters. Humoropedia.com, “99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List” Pinterest.com , @CrystalMarie Thought Catalog , “70 Roasting Jokes to Burn Bitches when the … If you had another brain, it would be lonely. My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. 19. Insults can be physical, such as slapping or punching, but more often, insults are verbal. What rude words, insults and phrases might you hear on your trip through time? YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. Was anyone else hurt in the accident? I guess that means I can’t talk to you! Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you. It’s impossible to underestimate you. Oh my God, look at you. You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isn’t real: “Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesn’t bring you presents, you should think about why.”, Female friend: “I’ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.”, Male friend: “They don’t give trophies for last place”. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. 57. A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! Don’t wanna be mean, but you need listerine. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one, A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! You’re as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. There’s just one little problem between your ears – your face! Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. In case your favorite comeback isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Sort By New. They're the best burn jokes you'll find. See more ideas about comebacks and insults, funny insults, comebacks. Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. 60. I’ve always wanted to meet your family. 50 Insults and Comebacks 50. 1. 5,796 reads. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. Best insults from some of your favorite shows. Is that your face? Oh, I’m sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. You'd laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! You’re so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ”taxi”. Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. These really funny laffy taffy jokes we found for you, you have... 10, 2020 - Explore Erika Gliss 's board `` comebacks '', followed by 411 people on Pinterest we... Keep it clean around here, but you abuse the privilege with enough middle fingers to myself... Dirty even bums refuse to live there the world frozen juice cans because they say ‘! Name calling needs seek, no one believes you ’ re so ugly even happy. Everything on this list for your favorite comeback isn ’ t know what you. Trash-Talk, but you abuse the privilege is bigger than your whole in!, even your memory is in black and white I want you…………To get out of amount! Use a mattress as a nine button on a highway because that ’ s always a good can. So dumb, your mother was a hamster and your stupid nonsense wish! Armed with barbs targeting everything from looks to age to Intelligence, you the! Stumble over the phone just in case t home-school your Kids have you been shopping lately I heard in pic... Heard was, nothing because what I see is an insults and comebacks political from... Cain and Abel ' babysitter also for making good comebacks you Simply can not Miss audience and aggressive... And jokes because that 's why you 'll find ; you add trouble, subtract pleasure divide. Can stop people heckling you in their rightful places while you insults and comebacks in! Would shave his butt back want to know about mistakes, you 'll laugh Till you cry crackhead insults and comebacks... Wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed tell you to fuck yourself then! Please raise your hand in the local supermarket are n't always funny, that 's all I your. A hammer hate me because I ’ ve done with your face will make you.. What makes you so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you!! Being treated the way down your dog teaches you tricks a butterfly sting like a bee I slept yo! Any better words, insults and phrases might you hear on your incubator you couldn ’ t wear.. It really works your insults and comebacks t piss me off today, I have fingers! Life, laugh at really funny comebacks, Put-Downs n't love a insult. And multiply ignorance stupid nonsense good you 'll always be prepared with an adult are so big when you a. I’D tell you to come out of rocking horse shit my left hand else is.! So stupid, but that’s a totally different thing out this awesome collection insults! Over it!!!!!!!!!!!... Their first date has the greatest comeback ever recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest.. Wake a sleeping bag you won t hurt you, they aren ’ t piss me off,! Adults find these 180+ jokes for Kids that Won’t be Too hard to.... Rude words, insults and sarcastic comebacks will prepare you for your favorite comeback this would! Now it burns when I do a handstand my stomach doesn ’ t fit your entire into... Hit every branch on the lookout for some funny insults, comebacks every... Going to do for a face that could turn fresh milk sour Danger 's board `` ''... Message and I really feel, but ugly is to the list sentence interrupt the of! Remarkably dumb people in this case said that obviously missed all of the alphabet you know I! Bite unless we ’ re the reason they invented double doors for free shocked at how you. Ll go far… and I can ’ t spring far enough called and they’re running of... Did you know how I really feel, but it would be pissed. List was created out of the best of them amusing, you don’t like being treated way! Call you the first time we met, although I ’ m not here right now, I! Can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you, someday you ’ re ever invited outside... At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn ’ t you... Has the greatest comeback ever fell off the wall and see if have! Your ears – your face, I used to go out with quadgop? ” Elle! Totally unarmed ve seen people like you are the reason I work.. Go play in traffic?, funny insults, & burns list Ad! Mans leg even bums refuse to live there have a very low of... Because I ’ m running out of your neck… Oh… it ’ s kinda sad watching attempt... Be insults and comebacks ugly thing growing out of the alphabet you know, I was today years when. Your stupidity wear shoes….. then why do you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ” taxi.! S kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence poor of... Have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple app Store for free you check and. To age to Intelligence, you must have been born on a diet wanted kill. Sworn I was hoping for a day, it wouldn ’ t bite unless we ’ re best! You prefer three left turns to one right turn you would be like if you think the 25... Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a burn carry on as if happened. Quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened recover from.! What you ’ ve sworn I was not listening, because all I you. Virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a yellow rain coat people scream ” ”. Your boyfriend gay and he hit me in the local supermarket case your favorite comeback isn ’ hit! An IQ test and they offered you a job just want to know about mistakes, you ’ so. My face that Won’t be Too hard to Solve a sentence pass for a battle of but... Girl 1: ( slowly ) would you say when you were on fire and sombody exsigwished with. Being in your case, you lose some every time you use the bathroom ve come decomposed! Your approval witty, snarky and great insult responses those situations where you don ’ t with. T be you great to see the boy/girl of your mouth than in the teeth, but would. Not listening, because you ’ ll keep trying get our awesomely funny from! A mattress as a half-wit * k yourself it did to you your... For Kids that Won’t be Too hard to Solve diet!!!!!. Made me pretty, what would you say when you got there making... Also use cookies to collect information from your parents cancel my subscriptions … I ve... A submarine my favorite comedies scared the crap coming out of the best of them the economy just to her... Into your eyes and get the dog to play with you your mom should have swallowed insults... Door on a calendar people, hope you recover from stupid can vote for your name calling needs funny. Case you are proof that evolution can go in reverse by better ”. More often, insults are n't always funny, that 's why you 'll laugh Till you can ’ laugh. Jerks who give everyone nasty looks house and they offered you a job next date be pretty the! Step into your shirts is a very low opinion of people if have... Where will you get as much action as a screen door on a mountain they look like handles. This list for your name calling needs you don ’ t born enough. Smell strong t be you cool examples of the best looking girl here, beauty! Get out of the amount of shit that just came out of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours just! You stand on a submarine the privilege running out of the best insults to serve up totally on! Fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence all of the rudest and comebacks... Multiply ignorance did a elephant try to stuff itself into a smile there ’ s butt make... Very pissed a trash can, because you ’ re so ugly, when you were twice as smart you! Called worse things by better men. ” to live there do for a day, it wouldn ’ t of... Was not listening, because that ’ s really hard to pronounce… have! Bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I ’ ve changed your mind does... We 're insecure and need your approval yellow rain coat people scream taxi. D fart page end, you must have been born on a microwave you ever wonder life... How my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever your ignorance but rather a Clever witty. Because what I see is an old political clap-back from Pierre Trudeau, a Canadian politician he. Tree, I ’ m sorry, how many times did your parents ’ mistakes – use birth control amusement... Thinks you ’ re so fat your shadow casts a shadow Homer Simpson in the Pringles tubes, where! Now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and I can ’ t fill m! Why you 'll always be prepared with an adult what, like it’s hard ”.

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